I'm sorry this is late but I didn't get home until quite late last night and I was feeling a little under the weather ...and I know you're probably expecting to hear the sequel to my trip, but I wrote this week's blog before I left and it's honestly more important to me.
Since I started talking about mental illness and sharing my story, quite a few people have turned their backs on me. For the most part, I’m totally okay with it because most of them never had my back anyway but there is one person that I miss every single day; we’ll call her Rose.
Rose is part of my family of origin and before I started telling the truth about my past and my life, we talked to each other almost every day. Whether she called me or I called her, we talked on a regular basis and for the most part it was just about mundane things but it was a connection.
It’s been 364 days, and just under 12 hours since I had a response to any of my messages, or a phone call from Rose ...but who’s counting?!
I miss her laughter, her smile and the way she used to enter a room; jumping through the doorway, arms spread wide, making sure no one missed her entrance. I also miss the little people Rose brought into this world and often wonder if they ever think of me or realize how much I miss them.
I tried to speak to Rose after our falling out but she would have none of it and blocked me on social media. Unfortunately, most of the contact I’ve had from her in the last year have been some texts telling me to leave her family alone. There was also a derogatory comment she left on my website which I chose to ignore because I honestly don’t think she meant what she said.
I believe there are outside influences keeping Rose from me but I trust that once she finds out the truth, she will become stronger and realize she doesn’t have to choose sides.
I love Rose unconditionally and I would never set any kind of limits or boundaries on that love. I hope in time she will realize that my love for her, no matter what she says or does, is unconditional.
Stay safe and stay strong. Thanks for following!