So I guess you’re all wondering how Saturday went after all of the anxiety in the months prior to it, and I have to tell you it went way better than expected.
We got there early so we could be the ones being greeted instead of the other way around, but it didn’t work that way.
My father and his wife were the first to come in and they did everything not to “see” me, which was quite hilarious because I was standing in the center of the room most of the night. Then my brother and his wife came in, and then my daughter and her husband.
It was almost an hour before my Dad came over to me, and it was a very quick interaction because he didn’t really say anything; he just hugged me. Later I think he realized it wasn’t enough because he came over to me again and said that he would talk (to me), but he couldn’t hear me ...an excuse he’s used for years even though he has a top of the line hearing aid.
What amazes me is how he thinks he somehow becomes invisible and I can’t see that he’s moving about the room talking with everyone else - with no hearing difficulties at all!
But I digress...
After about an hour and a half, my oldest daughter ended up standing in a circle to my left and it was killing me not to approach her. I was afraid she was going to turn her back on me, and I knew that I would end up crying - something I wanted to avoid at all costs.
I turned to my husband and my cousin and told them how I was feeling and they urged me to approach her, so I did.
I walked over, put my hand on her shoulder, and when she turned to look at me I almost melted because she smiled at me. We hugged each other, she showed me pictures of the grandchildren I hadn’t seen in 185 days and I thought things were going to be okay. But I found out later she was doing what she needed to do to get through the night.
My brother brushed past me, paid me a compliment, but never came anywhere near me the rest of the night, and his wife never said anything to me until she couldn’t find the washroom and I was the only one she could ask.
While all of this is going on try to remember there are people that have been following my blog and are watching to see what transpires. They’ve been told by my parents that I diagnosed myself with PTSD and I’m making everything up, so they couldn’t help but be curious.
At the end of the night, my father and his wife came over to the group of cousins I was still standing with to say goodnight; there were about nine of us standing in a circle.
They went to the person on my left and worked their way around the circle, hugging everyone until they got to me. It was almost like I was the one who was invisible now...
I looked at my cousins and said, see what I mean?!
That’s when one of my cousins came to my rescue! He grabbed my Dad’s shoulder and spun him around so fast he had to steady my father with his other hand.
He looked into my Dad’s eyes and angrily said, “You forgot Davina.”
...So, did it go well? Abso-friggin-lutely! My cousins finally got a little glimpse of the truth, and I can’t tell you how empowered that makes me feel!
Stay safe and stay strong. Thanks for following.