I was laying in bed this morning thinking about the fact that it’s Wednesday and I still haven’t written this week’s blog. I started getting sick the night before last and my throat is so sore I can barely swallow, not to mention the chills.
As I laid there, I was having a battle in my head; one side telling me that I need to get some rest and the other side telling me that I’m being lazy. The latter side was not my voice at all.
I recorded two videos for my vlog this week and now they just need to be edited. I set up an account with “The Mighty,” and submitted 3 stories to them, one of which has been accepted. I wrote my bio and a story about what it’s like to live with PTSD for Consumer Health Digest, about what it’s like to live with PTSD. I submitted those yesterday. I could have waited a bit because they only approached me last week to write a story for them, but instead of giving myself a bit of a break, I “struck while the iron was hot!”
Plus, I finished reading the first part of “Mothers Who Can’t Love,” and I’m onto the working part. I’ve got my list of truths and lies written out and I’m ready to carry out the next part of the exercise and move on from there.
I’ve answered comments and notifications on Face book, Twitter and my website. Now all I have to do is write this week’s blog and I’ll be caught up.
Don’t forget that while I’m completing all of these tasks I’m having to stop, tidy everything up and be out of the house for an hour at a time while we try to sell it.
...As you can see I’m being far from lazy and I’m not cutting myself any slack at all, so why am I being so friggin’ hard on myself?
I laid there for close to two hours trying to cut myself some friggin’ slack and yet here I am now, writing my damn blog!
Why do the voices in my head make me feel like I need to be a super human? I’m doing all I can - heck, I’m doing more than I can. Hence, the reason I still have very little sight in my right eye! WHEN am I going to learn that I AM worthy and that I AM doing my best?! When will I have that “aha” moment? How long do I have to wait and how much more work do I have to do?
Honestly, I’m hoping that completing the assignments in “Mothers Who Can’t Love,” will start me well on my way.
Stay safe and stay strong. Thanks for following.