I have always lived with the belief “to do unto others as I would have them do unto me;” regardless of how they treat, or have treated me. I believe in kindness and I also believe it isn’t my place to “pay” someone back for hurting me. I further believe what goes around comes around (eventually), and that Karma will triumph, but right now I feel defeated.
I grew up terrified, alone, and feeling completely overwhelmed, but the one thing that kept me going was the belief that the truth would eventually surface. ...That’s what we’re told growing up; the truth will always come out, but right now I feel like the joke is on me. It appears I’ve done such a good job at hiding the truth, I’m now being accused of being a liar.
A liar?! Everybody knows talking about mental issues will alienate you from just about everyone, so why would I make this shit up?! I knew telling the truth about my past was going to make things difficult for me and there would be people that wouldn’t talk to me anymore, but I had no idea biological family would be part of that equation.
We all believe our biological family will love us unconditionally. That they will accept us with our flaws, and shortcomings; especially our parents, because when they don’t, we question ourselves; at least I do. I have always thought that everything that has gone wrong in my world was/is because of me, and I know it’s because of the lack of support I’ve received throughout my life, but I’m really quite down. I’ve honestly never felt so disillusioned in my life and it’s making me question this book, my life, everything...
But, and this is a huge but, this is where I’m going to rely on my chosen family; the family and friends that accept me for who I am. They know what I’ve been through, and even if they don’t understand the disease; they understand me. These people - you know who you are(!) - have always got my back, and I’ll always have theirs.
This week’s closing words of advice are to STOP dwelling on negative people!! Make it a point to surround yourself with people that are positive and love you for who you are; flaws, shortcomings, mental diseases, and all.
Stay safe and stay strong. Thanks for following.