Finding That “One Thing.” (approx. 4 - 5 min. read)

One of the most important steps in healing is finding at least one thing that you do just for you, not for anyone else. Not only that, this “one thing" you need to be doing is because it warms your heart, not someone else’s. And I know that sometimes it’s hard to find that one thing because a lot of us have spent so much of our lives trying to make other people happy; like our abusers, but if you’re like me, that one thing dropped into my lap. It wasn’t apparent that it was going to become a hobby because when it first appeared in my life, it was there entirely out of necessity, but then I started to get really curious and now I’m pretty sure I’m in love!

Having a hobby feels pretty foreign because I’ve never really had a hobby. I was a single parent for a large part of my life, and not only did I not have the time for a hobby, I always believed that doing something that was just for me, was selfish. Sure, I’ve picked up a camera and taken a few pictures, and I’ve also been part of a hiking group, but I’ve never fully immersed myself in something that wasn’t part of a responsibility of some sort, until the honeybees and becoming a hobbyist beekeeper (beek).

I never thought I was the type of person that would find joy working with little bugs that have the ability to sting when they’re pissed off, even though my husband Gary always wanted to be a beek. I had no idea I was going to like it so much and I made excuses as to why we shouldn’t have hives on our property for years, but last year when my tests came back positive for Lyme disease, we decided to get hives. It was purely out of necessity because we couldn’t find a physician that would treat my Lyme and we’d heard that bee venom therapy (BVT) could heal Lyme, so by June of 2019, we were the proud owners of two beehives.

It was amazing watching Gary from afar because there always seemed to be something going on in the hives and he either took pictures or videos of the excitement so I could watch and see for myself. Even if I’d had the strength to be a part of it, it wasn’t safe for me to go near the hives while I was doing BVT because as I already mentioned – the girls like to sting when they’re pissed off, and getting a sting on a day off, could cause anaphylaxis and then I’d have to stop doing BVT.

During our first year, we had two swarms – one of which we caught, and that in itself is incredible because we had no idea what we were doing. We also had to re-Queen the hive that swarmed because the original Queen leaves when a hive swarms. Then we were hit by a bear in April of this year, and even though the hive that was hit was a pretty strong hive, it was really cold outside and the bees weren’t strong enough to survive a hit like that. What made it worse was that the bear hit the hive twice before we were able to locate a bear fence and put it up because COVID-19 had just about everything under lockdown, and there wasn’t a lot of stock …we were devastated and unsure of how we should move forward.

Luckily when I reached out to the local bee inspectors to get some help, they put me in touch with a woman that owns one of the local beekeeping businesses, her name is, Carmenie. As it turns out, she’s extremely knowledgeable, and she’s really nice. When I first called her, she said that I was more than welcome to come and watch her, but after we’d set up a time to meet the next day, she chuckled and asked me if I was sure, saying that there might be better mentors. I just chuckled along with her and told her I looked forward to meeting her before hanging up the phone.

The next day I got up, got dressed, and confirmed where her house was on MAPS before heading out, not even thinking about the fact that I was on my way to a stranger’s house without giving it a second thought. As you know, this was huge for me because when I first started my blog, I couldn’t even go out of my front door without having a panic attack and here I was meeting a stranger and in a strange place! The drive there was completely uneventful and when I arrived, Carmenie was standing by her honey house doing something with some hives that were in the yard, and she waved to me as soon as she saw me.

Since that day, I’ve been out beekeeping with Carmenie four times, and not once have I felt fearful leaving my property or that I was somewhere I didn’t belong. I believe that she is a kindred spirit and when I’m heading out to go beekeeping with Carmenie, all I’m thinking about is whether we’re going to have trouble finding the Queen or how many times we’re going to get stung by the honeybees. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and its symptoms are the furthest things from my mind, and it feels a little strange because it happened so subtly. Five years ago, I was afraid to leave my house and now I’ve found a hobby and I feel like I have a new lease on life, and I encourage you to do the same.

Stay safe and stay strong. Thanks for following.