It’s 4:00 am and I’ve been lying here for hours ...not because of nightmares tonight but because I can’t stop thinking about this week’s blog.
Since the conception of my website, I have received a lot of hate mail. People accusing me of lying, of faking my illness, people accusing me of having Munchausen’s disease. That last one actually came from my family of origin, among other things.
As you can imagine, it’s been extremely difficult talking about having PTSD. It has always been my word against the world’s and there have been times when I’ve felt like giving up.
I lost my oldest daughter’s respect years ago because of things that were said to her by my family of origin and as you know, she stopped talking to me in October of 2015. But - and it’s a huge but - she’s come back into my life and I couldn’t be more elated!
She received a letter from someone in our family of origin that was also a victim of our family of origin’s violence. This person poured out their heart to confirm that I haven’t been making any of it up. I can’t tell you how much that kind of validation has put me on top of the world!
The person that wrote the letter, told me to it in any way that would help, and in the beginning I was going to post it on here, but I’ve changed my mind - for now.
This fight to #endthestigma around mental illness is mine; and it wouldn’t be fair to put this person out there like I have myself. It’s been one of the most difficult things I’ve done in my life and I just won’t do it to someone I love as much as I love life itself.
I have, however, forwarded the email to quite a few people in my family of origin so they can decide for themselves.
I know the earworm(s) will continue to try and cover it up, and continue to discredit and make fun of me, but there will be at least one person that will start to doubt the stories they’ve been told all these years.
Someone that will look back on all the times they stood at family gatherings and belly laughed at the earworm(s) when they discredited my character and only because they wanted to stop the truth from coming out.
Stay safe and stay strong. Thanks for following.