I’m back from holidays and I want to share something I realized while I was away.
We’ve been going to the same place for years now and there are so many people we know; between returning guests and employees that it almost feels like we’re going home.
When we are there, I don’t need Gary to be by my side at every waking moment because I don’t feel stress or uncertainty venturing out the front door. I know exactly where everything is; the gym, the restaurants, the pool, are all familiar and there are always people calling out my name.
This year started out like any other but there seemed to be quite a few changes. For the most part, I let the changes roll of me like water off a duck’s back but when I couldn’t find anything edible to eat on the fifth day, I started to get a little pissed.
As some of you know, I have wheat intolerance and for the most part I can fall back on a salad, but here I was on the fifth day of our holiday and even that was proving to be impossible. It wasn’t even an hour into lunch and there was no salad dressing left; when I spoke to the restaurant manager, she told me they weren’t making anymore.
I was astonished! Lunch had almost two hours to go and they were out of dressing! I told her about my wheat allergy and explained that sandwiches and pasta weren’t something I could eat, but she just told me there was plenty of other food, and to go find something else.
Really? I was out of my comfort zone and I felt that not being able to get a salad after all the money we’d spent, was an injustice; as you know, injustice is a trigger for me. Normally, I would have caved under the pressure, probably started crying, left the restaurant embarrassed, and gone back to my room ...but I didn’t because I felt compelled to make this right. I needed to talk to someone; something that is usually incredibly anxiety provoking for me. I requested to speak to her boss; the general manager (GM).
Days went by and although I saw the GM a multitude of times, I never had the guts to speak to him. I kept telling myself that I was waiting for him to come to me, and hoping that he’d forget, but then I heard about more changes the resort had made that would affect me, and put in another request to speak to him.
After about an hour, he came and found me and asked me to join him at the snack bar. I looked over at Gary, grabbed my beach cover-up, threw it over my bathing suit and told him I’d be right back. He asked me if I wanted him to come and I told him no, and walked off without looking back.
Had I looked back, I think I would have seen him sitting there with his mouth open in astonishment because I hadn’t done anything like that in years, and he wasn’t used to it.
When I got to the snack bar, I walked over to where the GM was sitting, sat down across from him and started talking to him like I’d grown cajones, which caught me off guard. I wasn’t sure who this person was, because the person I had become since my last trauma would have become anxious, started sweating profusely, and been stumbling over her words.
Instead, there was this intelligent, totally confident person speaking up and out about something she believed in, and it reminded me how strong I truly am. Despite the adversity, especially in the last year, I have grown in leaps and bounds and I’m really proud of who I’m becoming.
Stay safe and stay strong and make sure to share a smile with someone. Thanks for following.