I Feel like I’m Moving Backwards... (approx. 2 min. read)

We’re in the middle of a move, and even though I shouldn’t be I’m completely stressed to the max! I’ve moved a lot in my life and although I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve moved, it’s up over twenty times! I’m not sure why it’s been so many times but it has.

It could be because I believe life is too short and if you’re constantly arguing with someone about the same thing, it might be time to distance yourself from that person. Besides, I despise confrontation and believe that if I’m always having the same argument with someone; it means I’m just not compatible with that person; and if we’re not compatible then one of us has to leave.

Needless to say I got really good at moving, and I could pack and move at the drop of a hat. I never really wanted to move but circumstances kind of got in the way.

Which brings me to this move...

It’s a different move in that it’s not a “break-up” move, but it’s still a move. I’m still having to pack things up, get rid of things that are extremely sentimental to me, and make a lot of changes; and I want you to know it doesn’t matter what the reason is - moving is stressful - period!

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been wandering around crying at just about everything because the thought of moving is so anxiety provoking. I’m having to shower multiple times because my body is drenched in stress sweat and my face is breaking out like it did when I was a teenager!

I thought moving into this house would be my last move (out of necessity) and if we ever moved from here it would be out of choice, but I was wrong. And I know theoretically we aren’t moving out of our little house, just into the basement, but it feels like a step backwards instead of forward.

My husband was put out to pasture after almost 30 years of service and has been unable to find another job that even comes close to what he was earning. So the little home we made for ourselves; a place we love and a place I’ve been able to call home for the second longest in my life is no longer ours.

And I know I should be grateful because we’ll still have a roof over our heads, and we’re still together and very much in love, but it’s not the same. I loved where we were living and part of me believes that if I was able to get out there and function like a normal person; we’d be moving forwards instead of backwards.

Stay safe and stay strong. Thanks for following.